With respect to David Letterman, The Top Ten Diskeeper slogans that never made it:

10. The only software to get a speeding ticket

9. Fragmentation is as fragmentation does

8. th3 NUm83R 0N3 4Ut0m4T1C d3FR49M3Nt3r

7. Death, Taxes, Fragmentation.

6. Fragmentation Happens 🙂

5. "Every PC dies, not every PC really lives!"

4. "Set It 'n' Faahgeddabooouud-It"

3. Automizzle fo' shizzle

2. Diskeeper "does it" in the background!

1. Pimp My Drive

Thanks to Paul and Derek for their contributions. Got any more? Let us know.